This fall has reminded me that even in seasons of loss, uncertainty, and exhaustion, God’s grace is still enough. Life doesn’t always go the way we planned. Sometimes, the detours are painful and the lessons come wrapped in heartbreak. And yet, through it all, I’ve learned that God never leaves us stranded in our sorrow. He meets us there, in the middle of the mess, and gently reminds us that every season has a purpose, even when we can’t yet see the harvest.
When Life Changes Overnight
“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1
This fall has been… heavy; there’s really no other way to describe it. It’s been a season full of unexpected changes, heartbreak, and the kind of stretching only God could use for good… even when I can’t see it yet.
The 2025-2026 school year didn’t start the way I imagined it would. Just one week before classes began, I discovered through board meeting minutes that I was being reassigned from my familiar middle school role as an in-class support teacher to a self-contained kindergarten autism classroom in a completely new building. No warning. No materials. No curriculum. No sense of where to even begin.
I wish I could say I handled it gracefully, but the truth is I stumbled. I cried a lot. I prayed even more. And somehow, by God’s good grace, I kept showing up. The Lord provided what I didn’t have through the amazing team He placed around me in that new school building. He softened people’s hearts towards the less fortunate; I received generous classroom donations from friends and family. Every day was a reminder that His strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), and my goodness, I’ve had to lean into that truth more times than I can count.
Still, it was hard. In fact, it’s still hard. Spending the entire school day pouring into little hearts who need so much love and structure, then coming home to my own toddler and trying to pour from what’s left… whew! Most nights I’ve felt empty, the kind of lonely tired that sinks deep into your soul. I’m asleep before my husband comes back from walking the dog. But even then, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). And I’ve clung tightly to that promise.
Then came October.
A Month of Hope and Heartbreak
For a brief moment, it felt like the clouds were finally parting. We found out we were expecting again — this time, a baby girl we named Kennedy Rose. Her name felt so right, like it had always been waiting for her. And then, the unthinkable. A few short weeks later, I heard the words no mother ever wants to hear: she had stopped growing, and I would miscarry soon.
Miscarriage. What a weighted word. And how true it is: I missed carrying her before I even had the chance to fully hold her. I missed who she could’ve been. I missed the future we dreamed of with a little sister for Gem*. October became the month of both hope and heartbreak, the most bittersweet mix of emotions I’ve ever known.
It’s hard to put into words what it feels like to lose someone so small, yet so deeply loved. But even in the middle of that pain, I’ve seen glimpses of God’s presence. In quiet mornings, in small acts of kindness, in the way He keeps reminding me that He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). I continued to cling.
Looking Ahead: Finding Hope in God’s Timing
And now, as the leaves turn and the air shifts toward November, I’m praying that this new month is where things begin to lift. I’ve accepted a new teaching position: one closer to home, one more in line with the age group and calling that fit my heart best, one closer to home. I’m grateful for that door opening, even as others have painfully closed.
Still, I’m not rushing the healing. I don’t know what the upcoming winter season will hold. I don’t know what the next season of life will bring. But I do know Who holds me through it all, and for now, that is enough.
So I’m taking it one day at a time, trusting that even in this difficult season, God is working things together for good. And maybe, just maybe, as the world quiets into winter, I’ll find a little peace in the stillness, and a little joy rising with the morning light.
Seasons change, even when our hearts don’t feel ready. Take a deep breath, trust God’s timing, and let today be a reminder that joy will come in the morning! ACTIONABLE STEPS: Pause and reflect: What season are you in right now? Even if it feels heavy or uncertain, ask God to meet you there. Write down one thing you’re grateful for or one way you’ve seen His grace in your life this week, no matter how small!
